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dievegge

supports procrastination~
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Narvi and Me

7 min read

Sorry for long hiatus. Even worse, once I am signed in, I am only updating our journal (without posting any arts). I suddenly have a strong urge to write these important moment in my live. And I figured Deviantart is ideal for this. I can actually post it on my Facebook or making private blog for this, but Deviantart has recorded almost complete history of mine and my sister’s from a growing-up phase to adulthood. And I want to keep this habit. I feel very comfortable writing my own thought here. Somehow, strangers are more comforting readers than people surround you. Because I don’t really care their judgements :p. But if you are actually my friends in our real live, you are welcome to read. And after the death of my ‘someone special’ (you’ll know who and what later!), I begin remembering our Deviantart account, because this little guy was with me when I was addicted to Deviantart. So I come here to reminiscing those cherish day that I had with my old friends and Deviantart.

The title is obviously adapted from a novel ‘Marley and Me’. Yes, it will be about an owner and her pet. So, those who are not interested could just skip this instantly. But for those who stays to read, I am fully thankful and I promise you, it will be worth it. Though it won’t be as inspiring as Bobby the graveyard dog or Hachiko.  This is also not something like Chicken Soup for Pets, or any kind of pet memoir. It’s about how you grow up because of a bunny.

I am writing this to remember a bunny that has been being important to me for last 7 years. Yes, 7 years. Last 7 years, I had travelled to Japan, Malta, Milan, Prague, Budapest, Vienna, Salzburg, Bali, Bandung, Croatia, Singapore, Vietnam, Luxembourg. Manchester united comes to Jakarta. Hotel marriot bombing. Manchester united cancelled flight to Jakarta. Mika concert. Sarah Brightman concert. Sister went to Vancouver for minor. I graduated high school. First day of undergraduate program. Efteling. Riding bike 100 km. Inception. Laskar Pelangi the Musical. Got a boyfriend.  Accepted by Philips. I delayed graduation. Dejected by Philips. Sister graduated bachelor. Sister got accepted for master degree. Sister got boyfriend. Sister broke up with her boyfriend. Watch Cirque du Soleil. MH370 Incident. We got a new beagle. Now, I am on internship, and almost done my bachelor degree. And my sister is almost done with her master degree and going for a PHD. My bucket list is half filled by 7 years. All happened while we are owning a dutch rabbit.

I might not realize how I have been through live this far after some kind of happiness, sadness and angered without one call from my sister on Monday evening that telling Narvi, my bunny is dead. My feeling was mixed up. I was in state of blank at that moment.  I didn’t tear at that moment. I wasn’t on denial either that he is dead. I noticed that 7 years long is such a generous time that I could get in owning a rabbit. Narvi is the fourth bunny that I owned. My earlier bunnies are dead not even one year long. So, if I ask for more than 7 years, I must be an egoistic bitch. Maybe, I am, a little.

While I was showering and eating my dinner, I could not stop thinking: Moments with a blue Dutch rabbit finally over. And starts counting what I have learned from him that my parents or friends or teachers never taught me. Apparently, it is countless.

I didn’t realize I am more responsible than ever. I would take all the faults when narvi pooped or shed fur all over floors. And clean them even though it is “ewwy” and “yucky”. Simply, because I don’t want my mom angered by this, and order me to put Narvi outside the house.   

I become more discipline. I cannot imagine that I could maintain my time to study and to wash his cage. Never skipped any.

To be able to potty train your pet until it understands to return to his cage every time he is going to poop or piss even he is on the grass (which we actually permit him to piss over there), is the beauty of to train and to teach.

Facebook, social media and advanced smart phone are least important if your bunny stupidity, such as climbing wall attempt (because the bunny mistook the wall as stairs), is more entertaining.

The little pet also teaches me to be brave and stronger. You might not strong enough to battle possibly-poisonous snake but you feel that you have to be strong or otherwise this snake might bite your helpless little pet. In which, Narvi accidentally mashed by his rabbit house where the snake is stupidly luring underneath of it.

Do you ever feel that when you bought something not so inexpensive house because you do not want your loved one stays under a sofa that mechanically dangerous for tiny creature, but he refuses to stay in the new house, and still prefer to sleep under the sofa. And you are not disappointed or feeling wasted by his decision? That is how I feel to Narvi. Indeed. Narvi taught me to love unconditionally. I want to love my sister, my boyfriend, my family and my friends just like how I love Narvi.  

 

My dear little precious friend,

I have tried my best to keep you healthy and strong, but age is something beyond my capability as a human being. I have no regret for losing you.

I can accept that you have to leave soon. After all, we shall die and unite in another universe. The only mind-burden that I hardly withstand is to know how long it takes to be together again. And I hate to know that I cannot do small things that I actually love to do, like cleaning your cage, massage your head until you are asleep or playing around on grass with Loki as well. Anymore. I hate it too that I am not able to see how you made an overly-excited, yet adorable face when munching your favourite milk jelly and apple. I hate that I cannot see my honourable pet, when he is dead.

Thank you for those valuable gifts that you taught me.

I love you…

And I miss you…

If you got a new life, please visit us. I will love you.  Take care of yourself. Goodbye, old friend.

And for my dearest faithful readers,

If you are young (especially teenage) and feeling empty and confused how to live in this dynamic yet absurd society. Own a bunny. You’ll grow better.

-end-

Narvi Ra Laksono: 29 March 2007- 28 April 2014

P.S: I might not going to adopt a new rabbit until I got a permanent living. I will work harder. I will afford a better home with a better yard to keep rabbit. It will be chocolate dutch rabbit and name him Magni. (Hel, if it is a female. Yes. It is our official tradition to name pet based on Norse Goddess- Goddesses). I’ll tell you when the time is finally arrived ;)

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um... hi...?

i realized we have been gone for almost a year.
truth is, as always, we've been busy with school and work.
and i also had a relationship for a year and after my breakup, i was feeling really down and moreover, i had problems at work as well.
so life has been difficult for a while.
now i'm hanging on there.
things will get better, if i can make them so.

because of my situation, i found drawings really unappealing.
oh, i can think one or two pretty pictures in my head, and i still doodle and sketch, but to pick up anything with colours... nah.
but today i decided to draw again. no, not on half a paper like i used to when i'm lazy.
and not half-heartedly like i used to when i'm... well, when i'm lazy [yes, i lazy a lot. i is lazy.]
depression is really like a mist in your head. you realise it's there. you realise it's not good to have it lingering around you for so long.
you tried to get rid of it.
it's hard. it spoils everything.
for some times now, i've had difficulties sleeping. i wake up really early in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep.
are those conditions related?
maybe.
but i'll keep my head up. i'm sure, just like a mist, it will be gone and the sun will shine again.
they said "take one day at a time"...

well...

here's one.

cheers, peeps!
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oa...

1 min read
oa...

i do realize we've been inactive for sooooooooooo long!
our apologies.

life has been good and busy. as always. ;)
school, work, school, work, basically...

so to people who survived the apocalypse,

merry christmas!
i promise you some art before the new year begins... [probably one or two more, since i'm busy with research proposal and stuffs]

see ya guys around!
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So people,

I got accepted from Philips Healthcare company for internship!!!!!
Yay!
Maybe I might be overjoyed,
but actually, it because I couldn't believe it is ME who is accepted.

So philips healthcare was looking for two persons to build power for X-ray.
There were three candidates applied for this assignment: Me, Armel, Eugenia.

It was shocking,
We are GOOD best friends for two years,
We had worked together,
We built big trust and strong chemistry to each other,
We had to compete at that time.
and it was ridiculously tough competition for me.

Eugenia is my best friend,
She is very active, smart and friendly.
She has powerful and energetic personality too.
She was very talk-active during interview.

Armel is genius engineer,
Quite, yet calm as professional
His intelligence is widely known in our university.

and me,
Just another dirtbag who tried to be the best.

During the interview,
I talked nervously. VERY BADLY. Even though i tried to gain good impression by being active and dressed prettily.
phone rang during my speech!(shit!What's wrong with my phone! I set it in silent mode on the cab! I'm sure, i did!)

So, At the end, i left the building with baddd feeling.
I was soo sad, you know.
I already kept the opportunity to apply Philips company as the last effort on searching internship.
But I just messed up my preparation.

I prayed, and prayed.and gain relief.
and get ready for the rejection.
But still tried to be cool and get ready to work in Oce company which has accepted me.
I would be happy to work in Oce since they have interesting assignment.

But I really want to work in Philips,
As i see it has very good environment,
The assignment was tough and challenging but VERY interesting.
I like the people. They are both serious and fun.
I really like to work in Philips.

But thank God,
I'm accepted. :)

Other things that make me soo happy lately,
My study is getting interesting and more interesting.
Although still difficult to learn,
but I'm happy that all the lessons become related to each other.
And i'm being introduced to so many cool stuff like arduino, processing, Matlab and blender.
It's like i can spend whole day just to practice with the new softwares,
but since i have to focus on upcoming exams,
so i learn it at some spare time
I'm nerd and geek? Gladly i am! :D
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long time no DA and suddenly everyone is changing their usernames... :\
well... we'll keep mine, so there's that.

life is relaxed... or so i believe [coming home with exhaustion is kinda relaxed... eh?]

i got accepted for a master programme and i got a grant, albeit a partial one.
whoop whoop whoop!
will start in august.
now i still need to apply for ID extension.
hopefully it won't take long...

so here's to life. *cheers*
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